Happy Holidays

I meant to wish everyone Happy holidays, merry Christmas, Happy new year and all that but life got in the way.

Actually freaking snow got in the way. It snowed so much last week that we have been bundled up at home!

This year, actually, I dont really care for christmas or new years. Esp. New years as its just a fake thing to celebrate anyways. I feel out of it. I dont really much care for the festivities this year. All I care about is my baby. Damn the whole world.

This is surprising as I love christmas and I love prezzies (who doesnt?), I love the tree and the everything else. New years was never my favourite so whatever but usually I am mildly excited for it. This oh no. I couldnt care less.

Partially, its J and his tantrums. He keeps having them and I keep telling him I am reaching my limit. I think he gets it as he tries. He really does. And he has actually been nice to me like asking me if he can do anything, helping me in the kitchen and stuff like that. The other part of this is actually more deeper. Unlike other years, I am actually at a standstill in my career. I can change jobs or go back to school and both of these are causing me anxiety. Add to that the thought of leaving K in daycare or wherever and I have panic attacks.

At the same time, its exciting.

But I get older, I realize that I dont want to do a few things in my life that I thought I'd be game for -

I dont want to climb the steep hill. Meaning I dont want a job where I am constantly having to prove my worth.
I actually am happy being a secretary or a clerk in some office as long as the work doesn't come home with me.
I have actually realized that I have no ambition at all. All I want is to be a good mom and everything else can go to hell. I would be prefectly happy at home cooking and cleaning. That of course is not a long time solution.

I want something that is flexible enough so that I can take care of K. I dont care what I do just as long as I can be there for him.

Nothing else matters to me.

I dont want a fancy house, I dont want fine cars or jewelry or anything.

Yea, I know its my hormones talking but I also know that I want to take a back seat wherever I work.

Lets see what happens...

I am super lazy.

I have now stopped working and dont feel like doing anything at all.

I laze around with my sister.

Its kind of nice as my feet are swollen to elephant proportions.

Hmm, I will bask in my laziness till I can.

I have a brand new computer.

Yes, its new and its a 20in imac. Take that world!

Ok, also today is my last day at work. I am excited as physically it is very hard to keep working. I am also sad as I will miss my co-workers!

But I will have a scrunchlet to take care of so I think that will keep me busy.

Okay, will update from home from my super cool computer!

I have not been feeling all to well.

I stayed home on Monday and Tuesday and am at work today but only getting a few things done.

Nothing nutty. Just tying up loose ends.

Anyhoo, if I dont blog too often, its prolly cause I am sick at home with no computer. Thats right - I have no comp at home...

So, you might not hear from me that often - either that or I have gone into labour and my jubs is coming!

Yippee - I am so excited and nervous at the same time.

So my sis is in town. It is interesting to see J react with her around.

Its just new for all of us and new things take time. We will see how this one goes.

In other random news, my G, is excited cause her treatment dates are lined up. Within a week after finding out she has lymphoma. Yes, within a week. Health care works. I have never heard anyone being denied treatment if they really need it. All this scare talk about ppl having to go to US to buy health care is crap. Its ppl who think they need CT scans or MRIs and travel down south and pay for it. Its stupid. If you need a CT Scan you will get it.

Anyhoo, thats my rant for now.

Co-worker update

So G, my co-worker didnt show up yesterday and we were wondering what was happening as its pretty unusual for her to not show up.

She called in the afternoon and explained that the day before, June 10th she was attending the monthly board meeting. The meeting usually goes on from 6 in the evening to 10ish. While at the meeting she got a call from her doctor to go the emergency at the nearby hospital. Now no doctors call at 6 in the evening unless there is an emergency. So the doctor calling in the evening itself should have been an alarm. Anyways, G, decides to finish the meeting and then go the hospital.

Apparently her platelet count was down to 8000 when normally it is supposed to be 120,000. I.e. its not good news when you have no immune system left. Duh!

She went into the hospital at 10 at night and was kept overnight and let go the next afternoon.

Apparently she has a mild case of lymphoma. Its cancer of the lymph nodes but its super mild and at the very early stage so she doesnt even have to get chemo. Just medication and a few hospital visits.

I think G is stupid. I love her but she is. Who waits for a meeting to finish so that they can go the emergency? Esp. after the your doctor calls and tells you to go the emergency?

Really? I think she puts way too much into her job. A job that no one except her cares about. She is treated like crap and she keeps stretching herself thin.

I wonder if its to make herself look good. She has two really close friends who have both had very important jobs and very successful careers. Not that G hasnt but also not in a way her friends have. Her doing this might be a way to to make herself important....

Anyhoo, she is back at work when I really think she should just be at home, maybe working from home...

co-worker update

So, G, did not show up to work this morning. She was the one who was sick.

L is now wondering what is going on. I am not that worried. I am sure she is okay - prolly a routine check up or something. In any case, there is nothing we can do until we hear from her.

L chimes up every few seconds wondering what is going on. I told her, just call her at home and see what the deal is. Really there is nothing we can do.

Anyhoo, will update as I know more.

Ewwww

The weather here is atrocious. Really, its like rainy and cloudy and gross all over.

I hate it. It feels like I am in January or something.

I mean its June for chrissake, I dont make it through fall and winter to come back to winter after spring!

I need sunshine to function. I really do.

In other random rants, my in-laws are coming for dinner tomorrow. It will interesting. My mil is a chef so my plan is to cook things before hand and be done before they come. We will see if that happens!

Anyhoo, my coworker, L, is now ready to apply for immigration for JC again. Apparently peace was made and she told him if he ever treated her with disrespect, he should just leave. They were going to lie on their application given JC's marriage status (his divorce not finalized and him marrying L) but now they are going to get married again. Which makes a bit more sense.

She is also getting someone else to help her apply and file the immi papers. I think she thought it would be better if a third party does it. I am frankly glad. I did not want to be involved in anyway. So I think she is going to file the papers sometime this month.

My other coworker, G, is still waiting for a diagnosis. They are trying to rule out cancers and other horrible diseases. She is not too worried as her doctor assured her the chances of it being a major cancer are next to nothing. She still might have lymphoma but a very mild kind that would not require any chemo.

So she is in good spirits.

Which is good.

So all in all, bad weather and two crazy co-workers who keep me distracted from freaking out over other stupid matters. A good thing really.

Co-worker update.

L, now has issues with JC.

So JC had borrowed L's bro's car and got into two accidents and never told anyone. L's bro found out about the accidents when insurance called and asked him to pay $4000...

He called L and L just lost it. She told her bro to take regular money off of JC's paycheque. (Oh in case I didnt mention this before, JC is working for L's bro and gets paid by him.) In any case, JC was pissed off with this arrangement and told L to keep off his money. JC basically insinuated that L was taking his money and being controlling when it came to finances.

L is pissed off. She mentioned that JC has in the past made similar comments as if, L takes his paycheque and doesn't give him enough money and stuff like that.

You have to know that JC does not make that much cash. L makes the majority of the income in the family. L also pays for JC's ipods, cell phones (3 brand new so far), medical expenses, bus passes, his food and everything else. She said she herself doesnt have money somedays but makes sure that JC has spending money with him. L is also preparing for JC's sponsorship papers and was going to pay for the immigration. JC hasnt paid a single penny for anything. When he was in Mexico, L paid for his passport, his tix, his hotel bills and food. So basically, she is his bank. Anyways, she is beyond pissed at this point...

She has now let JC know that he needs to pay for this own stuff. So all his medical bills, his bus pass, his immigration and all his food expenses he needs to pay for. She also told him that he needs to pay her bro for the car damage and if JC wishes to carry a cell phone, he needs to get it himself.

JC is apparently quite depressed by all this. He has apologized numerous times to L and she is not taking no for an answer. She has also told him that needs to learn english to make sure he gets a good job.

So all in all, its quite messy and L is actually wondering if this keeps getting worse should she ask JC to just leave. She doesnt want to pay JC to immigrate here but still loves him.


We will see what happens...

The other co-worker who was sick, G, has had numerous medical appointments but is waiting for a diagnosis. So I will update when I know more.

Piss off

I just got a forward from L, sent by one of the directors.

In it are various things one of which is "(Viki's) potentially leaving after mat leave" - this completely pisses me off. I mean I have never said anything about leaving. Why am I leaving? I hate that I am being forced to leave b/c someone is too juvenile to get along with me.

Whats more, is that according to employment standards act, they have to keep my job open when I get back. So them saying something like this is not only offensive its also illegal.

I feel like screaming for working with this bunch of fools.

Seriously. The professionals I work with - are not that smart we all assume them to be.

Co-worker and other things

So G who has been deathly ill is diagnosed with ITP. Click on ITP to read more....


Anyhoo, maybe I have seen too many House (which is totally fantastic BTW) but it sounds like something you would get diagnosed with when there is nothing else to explain it.

Anyhoo, it doesnt sound too serious but doesnt sound too good either.

I have told G time and again to take her computer home and work from there that would at least give her some rest.

She wont do it. So whatever.

Now, to the other co-worker. L, is back and pretty much the same. Her husband JC is suffering from some sort of dental problem. He had to go to the dentist and get his tooth pulled out, after which he got an infection and he is on tylenol 3s.

But other than that things seem fine.

L, also mentioned that when they got to Mexico - like the second day there - JC almost died.

They were in Tijuana and had dinner and L was looking out of the patio when she saw JC laying on the floor. She went near him and saw that he was turning blue. She hit him on the chest a few times and called for the paramedics. He was taken to the hospital and kept there for a few days. He apparently had an allergic reaction to fish he had for dinner. That would suck and would totally freak me out.

Anyways, he was okay and doctors told him no more fish. The consequence of this was that they could not go see JC's family. Which kind of seems like a sweet coincidence to me. I am not saying that JC was faking dying but it did work out in his favour....

Who knows.

Also in other random things slipping in my mind, I totally want to blog about my sis-in-law's bf but cant. I mean, I love my sis-in-law and do like R (the bf) but sometimes he does things that make me suspicious. Like "dude whats going on?" not the other bad kind of suspicion. Just that somethings just dont make sense. I have talked to G about this and she agrees its a bit weird. I cant blog, just in case someone I know reads this lame blog and I will totally be in hot water.

But just an fyi - there is something weird about R and I dont know what and I want to know what it is but cant.

Okay I think I am done my rants.

More Co-worker

So my other co-worker, L, the one who married a mexican and whatnot is back.

Apparently, immigration Canada only wants to make the lives of Asians hell cause a guy who was in US federal prison crossed to border with no questions asked.

Yes, both of them made it together and without hitches.

He did almost die when he was in Mexico. He ate some fish and got an allergic reaction and was almost blue by the time the paramedics were called. This meant that L meeting JC's family never happened. They spent a few days in the hospital instead.

After which, they attended L's daughter's wedding and came back.

So all in all it worked out. L is now in the process of sponsoring JC and filling out Immigration forms. Remember I told you that JC is still married and L's marriage is therefore null. Apparently, L is choosing to ignore that tiny bit of information and go on with the sponsorship. Also she wants yours truly to look at that papers!

Yea, she was like - oh you have done this before, you should look at the papers. I didnt say anything as really I do not want to be part of this scheme at all. I have decided that when she is done, if she is done, filling the forms I will simply say - sorry I cant advise you on this - given the complexity and she should get a lawyer to go over the forms.

We will see what happens.

Sick Co-worker.

My co-worker, G, is like super sick. It started last Thursday, she was coughing like no tomorrow. Her eyes were watering and she looked like death.

I kept telling her go home. As in, go home - you look like hell and I am sure that feels like hell. She kept saying she was getting a ride home (she usually comes by train). Anyways, I got a call from her right now saying that she was taking the week off as her doctor had advised it. She also mentioned, in passing, that she was having nosebleeds and rectal bleeding and her platelet count was low. Her doctor had taken her off all medication and put her on super powerful steroid and that she was hoping to see a hematologist.

Ok, bleeding, low-platelet count and hematologist - all of this sounds pretty damn serious to me. Like I would not bother about work and just sleep.

She was talking about coming to work on Friday as she had things to do. Yes, while she is bleeding out, she is worried about events that need to go on.

Now there is difference between being loyal and getting work done and being just plain stupid. Unfortunately G is plain stupid. She gives herself and her work way too much importance. More than she has ever been given. I feel like telling her this upfront. Of course, I wont. But really when your body is clearly giving to warning signs, you take them and you do stop.

I do hope she will be alright.

In other random work related news, I finally sent my bosses an email outlining when I am taking my vacation and what date I start my mat leave. G, gave her 3.5 months of notice and this started a panic. They are now in the process of hiring a new ED asap. Bad Idea, me thinks. I mean, hire someone, just not in a panic and not b/c they have to. I also blame G, for this as there was no need for her to give notice this far in advance.

Partially I think they are going to make my last few months before mat leave hell. Just b/c they can. Whatever, I am so over this that I literally cannot wait until I am officially on mat leave. I will get bored at home but it will be better than being here. Anything will be better than being here right now.

Thats about all.

Ok, I know I havent been blogging all that much. Its b/c my co-worker, L is out of town. When she is around, she provides me with enough distraction that I usually have to blog....With her gone, I actually get work done.

Ok, thats a stupid lame excuse. I am just soooooooo tired all the freaking time.


Anyhoo, so my other co-worker, G, is a worry wort. She freaks out easily. With L gone, and my impending mat leave - she is freaking out about who will do all the work I do.

I told her, its not her problem. All she has to do is tell the bosses, my job is not her job and leave it at that. The concept of saying no doesnt occur to her. It is like speaking a different language all together. So in her freak out - she told the president that she is planning to retire soon. I think its a stupid mistake. I have been telling her to take her vacation, get paid out for all the overtime and give them at the max a month's notice. She has given them 3.5 month's notice.

Completely stupid if you ask me. She doesnt owe them that. They have treated all staff like crap. We are treated as a lowly office worker. No decisions are run by us, we arent even asked for some of the stuff that we know that would actually save the bosses some time and a lot of money.

G feels its her obligation to tell them she is leaving. She feels very loyal to the place and all that. Which is fine. But, she wont get paid for her vacation or any overtime. She is leaving mid-August b/c she thinks she has be around till the new ED is hired - cause how can a new ED cope with new responsibilities without me not being here.

I told her, I had told them in December that I would taking mat leave in July. They have had all this time to hire someone and understand labour relations. The whole point of me telling them was so that they would not be in the position they are in right now. They didnt hire anyone and whats more, they tried to change my work contract after finding out about my pregnancy. G knows all of this but....

What is worse is that her back is worse than it was. She has herniated 2 of her disks in the spinal cord, she is 60+ and she doesnt take the time to actually heal. I have told her and so has her friends that this is not something that will go away. She really needs to take it slow and just get better. She just doesnt get it.

It sucks, cause frankly, its not my problem. I do worry about her as I do quite like her. But there is only so much you can say and do. So I am just going to leave it.

Co-worker

My co-worker is crazy.

The receptionist, L, is always stuck her cell and it rings loudly like once an hour every hour.

Plus she screams when she talks. She screams when she is on her cell, she is always loud when she is talking to my other co-worker, G and she is screaming on the phone when she is talking to someone she knows.

So really, everything she talks about I know. I know that her daughter is dropping her off at the airport when she goes to Mexico. I dont need to know that but how do I know - cause she was screaming her head off.

This morning she was talking so loudly that I had shut my office door to write an email cause she was talking really loudly to her bro, who was inquiring about her going the airport.

Its getting a bit much now. I have thought to tell her to stop with the crazy cell phone chats and stuff but have not done so cause I wont her here in July and dont really care all that much.

My other co-worker G, is a bit crazy. She is bossy but has a great heart and I do love her a lot. She is blindly loyal to this place we call work. G is 60 and has a screwed up back but continues to slog at work cause she feels its her duty. I think its a bit much since I do think she needs to take care of herself and her health and forget everything else for now. I mean at 60 you are hardly the healthy horse you once were and things take longer to heal.

Its nutty.

co-worker gossip

So, my other co-worker (lets call her G) and myself were talking about L. G is a kindly elderly woman who will go out of her way to please someone. I like her a lot actually.

Anyhoo, we were talking about L and JC and I think G hates the fact that JC calls L pretty much every hour. Her cell goes off and then she is on with him about how much she loves him and all that. I guess the honeymoon isnt over yet. Good for them.

So G wanted to mention to L that maybe she shouldn't take JC with her to Mexico for her daughter's wedding as he might not be able to come back. I personally dont care, but do agree with G. L is even more convinced that she should fly to Mexico for her daughter's wedding.

Something tells me this is not going to end well.

First of all, L is bi-polar. She is on medication and is pretty good about taking the medication. But, I can see how she doesnt see things the way G and myself do. Secondly, L is not rich. She lives off her income here and going to Mexico for her daughter's wedding. Partly, L and JC are going to Mexico to meet JC's family there. Something tells me that L wont end up meeting JC's family. I am convinced there is something more there that JC hasnt mentioned to L. Anyways, so they are both flying to Mexico and going all over to meet the family and such. They are also living in a resort for a few days. All this is being paid for by L. She has taken out a loan for this trip. This means that she owes the bank money for her trip to Mexico, JC's trip up here and her dental costs. I think she is biting on more than she can chew.

She still has to start the immigration process. I think JC should pay at least a part of the immigration fees. I dont think that is going to happen.

We will see. She goes away in April.

Ok time for co-worker gossip.

So my receptionist (lets call her L) who married JC, from Mexico recently went into details about their marriage.

Here is a bit of timeline so this makes sense -

August 2006 - she was in Mexico working at the mission for about 3 weeks.

Just before she left she was on a crazy Dr. Bernstein diet that made her loose 40 pounds in 2 months or something crazy.

Anyhoo, for the 3 weeks she was in Mexico she met JC and hit it off.

She came back and announced she had met someone and was going to go back to Mexico for Christmas. Meanwhile, talking to JC on the phone everyday. JC speaks English but has a limited knowledge of it.

Then, after I came back from my vacation in November - she announces that JC was coming here instead of her going there. I thought it was a bit odd. She was like, oh, the mission had closed down (which it has) and he was coming up here to meet her and spend time.

Now, both are born again Christians so they wouldnt live together unless they were married. She sends him money to get his passport and for the flight. He was coming up here start of December and she had decided that the day he showed up - they would get married.

She had already applied for the marriage license and stuff.

Between the time she announced he was coming up here (start of November) and he showed up (Start of Dec)- she had asked him to get a copy of his divorce papers. You see, apparently JC had been married in the past and had at least one child who is now in college. He was also a drug dealer and was in jail. He had told all of this to her before they decided to get married. Which is fine. Whatever.

Anyhoo, he shows up at Vancouver airport and is questioned by the immigration officials. He tells them the truth about his past and the fact that Jesus was the saviour and he had left that life behind. Lo and behold, he is given a visa to stay in Canada for 6 months.

Now, he is here, they get married the same day and L is now a married woman.

End of December, is the staff Christmas party and there are 3 of us. We were supposed to go to this restaurant that L was looking forward to. We show up and there was a message from L saying she is too sick to make it. We have a grand time and dont think much of this.

Start of January, she says she has been thinking about sponsoring JC for awhile and I tell her from personal experience that immigration takes about a year and she should apply asap. She kept telling me she needs to talk to a lawyer and needs the funds. All very valid but still, I say "dont delay otherwise - he has to leave the country in 6 months." She keeps telling yes, will do.

Fast forward to present - she has to go to Mexico for her daughter's wedding. She gets the tix in order and decides that both her and JC will go back to Mexico and he will come back into Canada the same way he did last time. Except there is nothing saying that he will get the visa and he will get an officer who takes his past lightly.

So last week, we were just discussing the fact that she has to apply for his immigration. She mentions that apparently, last christmas, she found out that he wasnt divorced yet. Apparently his divorce isnt finalized yet. He is still married to the woman in Mexico and the papers he gave her were just the papers filed to ask for a divorce. He did not know that he wasnt divorced. Which I find to be far fetched. How do you not know you are divorced or not?

Anyways, L is under the impression that her marriage to JC is still valid. Which apparently is not the case. Her marriage becomes void.

What is all the more interesting in this story is that JC seems to be an extremely possessive guy. He calls her at least 5 times a day. Her cell goes off all the time and if she doesnt answer he will immediately call on the office line.

There have been two separate occasions where he has called and asked me or my other co-worker if L is infact attending an event or a meeting as she had said she was. Like calling and asking for L and then when we say oh she is out, he will ask if she is attending the earthquake safety meeting? Both me and my co-worker find this very odd. I mean, the woman got you here, she is paying for everything - food, clothes, she bought him an ipod for Christmas - (I cant afford one so how she did that I dont know.) and she is going to apply for immigration.

The other thing is that L has been married in the past. In fact, this is her 5th marriage. She is also always complaining that she has put back the pounds she lost. She is also always complaining that JC eats too much, he takes up too much space and so on.

Oh, one other thing, I dont know if its related since the time she has been married to JC - she has been constantly sick. Like something or the other is wrong. She is always getting crazy coughs and feeling horrible. Yesterday, she was telling me she gets shingles everything she strains her body. Something odd is going on.

I just hope this one turns out okay.

La la lala lalala lala la la

Will not go crazy, la la la

Do you ever sing the la la song when you trying not to go crazy?

I am right now.

Its all good. My carrot on the stick is little jublet. Nothing else matters...

I hate...

my work.

I do. I think that much is clear to anyone/everyone.

I keep getting asked to do things that I have no experience in and have no desire to do as - I dont get paid to do it.

I am now getting asked to do things that our lawyers are supposed to do. I dont get paid to do it. I should refuse but a) cant risk getting fired b) it will be good experience albeit I dont like being taken advantage of.

I cannot wait until July seriously, I want to focus of what is important and work is not important to me. My little baby is...and I dont get the time to enjoy or focus on that b/c of all the crap around me. This includes but is not limited to work. Seriously, I just wish I could be in a bubble and enjoy myself and my baby and everything around me is making me not enjoy it and it is driving me crazy.


Anyhoo, I have too many worries and not enough energy to be a full person that everyone expects me to be. I always feel like I am running on low battery due to the sheer physical and emotional drain from everything that is happening.

To add to all of this, my mil is talking to ppl in India who have called my parents asking them to talk to me re: baby shower. I dont need this.

I dont think mil gets that. I think she is so used to throwing a drama/tantrum when she doesnt get her way that she is doing so right now without thinking of what I want and what I might be going through. We have even told her our financial troubles, my job situation and all she insinuated was that I was being negative and all I needed to do was be positive and all would be well. Where the fuck did that come from? I dont know if she thinks I am making all this up (my work problems).

Anyways, I am just too tired of all this and want to leave. I want to hide in a bubble. I am actually going to avoid going over - b/c I cant take the drama and actually think that I will lose it and say something awful.

As for my work - I am going to try and take one thing at a time and hope it works and if it doesnt it doesnt and there is nothing I can do.

Work

My coworker (the receptionist) is sick. Like coughing every five minutes, sniffling, looking like crap sick.

Her voice has changed due to the cold or whatever she has.

This has been going on for the past week. I have told her - to go home.

Go home and rest.

She looks and sounds like she needs the sleep.

She refuses to go home. I dont know why.

She keeps working or rather being on the phone all day talking to her daughters, her husband and whatever other agency she is tracking down this week.

I dont care how she spends her time but it does seem to me that she can do all of this at home - while not sleeping.

I want her to leave as I dont want to catch anything.

I have told her this.

She knows I am pregnant and cant really take any medications.

She doesnt leave.

What do I do?

I wanted to call a cab, take her downstairs and put her in it and send her off. Unfortunately she is bigger than me. I will never succeed....

I am getting desperate.

HELP.