The thing about yummy mummys

Ok, I will likely get flak for this but wtf, its my blog.

I dont understand yummy mummys. Period. You walk down on the street and you are trying to get somewhere but you cant. Why?

Because of this atrocity.
This is one prototype of what J calls the 'SUV Strollers'. Yes, my dear friends thanks to it being cool to have kids and buying useless junk to make those kids cool, we have the SUV Baby Strollers. Gone are the days when your kids would be happy in whatever. No, you need giantatic baby strollers that block other not-so-cool ppls path - when all you are trying to do is get from Point A to Point B.

I come from Bombay. Getting from Point A to Point B and not doddling is what I live for. Trust me!

You know what I mean, Bombayites out there.

So you are walking - trying to get lunch or catch the bus and your way is blocked by this monstrocity being pushed by a Yummy Mummy. This lady, good looking, a new mom, is always dressed in clothes purchased from Lulu Lemon = everything that is wrong with the Western world. Here is why - you take an idea based in a country far away...in this case, yoga and turn into a fad and make millions while enslaving those poor bastards from the same country where you got your idea from to make those products, in this case clothes, while paying them shit.

But I digress.....

These yummy mummys are everywhere. They are always pushing those huge strollers, while the babies inside are dressed in baby gap or some such crap, hoping their mums notice they are really infants who are going to crap all over this $5000 stroller. They hold the latest offering by Starbucks - "oh, low fat chai latte w/ whipping cream, please. Yes, I am getting back in shape", dressed in yoga wear like its the next Armani and talking to the yummy mummy beside her about the next Bikram's yoga class.

What is wrong with being a mum. Like my mum. She never dressed in yoga clothes thinking she was wearing Armani, Never thought drinking Starbucks and putting me in this SUV stroller was the coolest thing in the world. She was my mum. She gave the best food, best clothes, best attention and all the love in the world w/out being wanting to be hip.

Dont get me wrong - there is nothing wrong with being hip or if you are mom you have every right to exercise and drink any over-priced starbucks beverage you want. But dont make your kids fashion accessories. They are not.

And for chrissakes - stop pushing those big giant strollers on the foot-path where I am supposed to walk!

I feel blue........

J and myself had this huge row - his compliant that I never show any interest in our finances. Yes, true. I do EVERYTHING else. But that is not good enough.

Anyways - I think I should pay more attention - but honestly, it doesnt make sense to me. Yes, I am that idiot. Its too complicated and I feel that if I make a mistake or ask the wrong question I will get yelled at. Its happened in the past.

Oh well. Thats what you get for marrying an idiot. Anyways, to make matters worse - I cant find my paycheque - and I havent told J.

Now do you see his frustration? I really am an idiot and fool. God knows why I just cant get it at some level.

God I need to be put in a mental institution.

I have nothing to write about today - nothing interesting, funny or really important.

This is my rant - if I did live alone or w/ just 1 baby (my husband) I believe that I would be more healthy, more productive and more positive person.

Right now - my in-laws live upstairs and every moment of every day - I am freaked out that they or more correctly my MIL is pissed off at me for something or will blame me for something. I have lived like this for 6 yrs. We might move out soon.........might is the word.

But I like eating healthy, I like being and doing things outside this house and I believe I am a very positive person - if I keep away from the negative influences in my life....only that doesnt happen.

Anyhoo............

It rained today - and I was awesome. I like when it rains - things just seem to stop or atleast slow down.

Moral Dilemma.....

Rock and a Hard Place....



(Image:www.nancydoran.com/2.html)

A few months ago my MIL's priest called from India. He has never done this so it was a big deal. He called to say that me and my SIL's should fast on particular days to avoid a catastrophe.

This practice is quite common in Hinduism (oh, how I hate that word). You are usually advised to fast to sacrifice - when the sacrifice is needed. SIL had to fast for herself - for good things to happen to her. I had to fast for J - something bad was going to happen to him and I had to fast to avoid that. You see my problem....? Being an ardent feminists I have always, always hated this aspect of my religion. If something is going to happen to me - I have to fast but if something is going to happen to my husband I have fast. WTF?

The other problem is this - there is, according to this priest, something bad in the future...bad enough to avoid it. However, if I fast - it can wholly be avoided. How can something that is bad enough, that it should be avoided, can be avoided by me not eating...? You see my logic?

Anyways - needless to say I had already decided I was not going to do it. Partly for the above noted reasons and partly for the fact that I have seen my mum do a billion fasts and never seen anything good come out of it. I decided not to do this. I did not tell my MIL cause, frankly, I don't think its any of her business. I simply said yes whenever she asked me if I would fast. No reason for her to know - besides she would never get what I am saying. I did tell J that this what his mum wanted me to do and this is what I was going to do - or not, in this case.

Fast forward a few months.....

I just found out that J has some liver problem. I don't think its drastic, its reversible, but needs care and attention.

You know where I am going, dont you?

It got me thinking - hey maybe I should have fasted. Totally, unreasonable demand but hey I could fulfil it....

Here is my problem - I still don't think my fasting has anything to do with J's liver. How can my not eating avoid anything........ but what if?


And its always the 'what ifs' in life that get you - right?


As I see it - I have a choice - I can follow that beaten path and make the necessary/ expected choices that will make me feel 'I did what I could...' OR I can find my way....

If you know me - you know I want to take the 'find my way' path - because I don't conform - but........

And there is always a but......

What do you think Violet (you in Sheffield) and Koolgurl (you in Bombay)...? [Hey, as a side note, I can change you nicknames - just let me know]

Retreat

I have been missing for a few days as I was away on a retreat offered by J's firm. It was fun.
We went to Point no Point resort - go there if you like nature or want to just relax!

I have to say I was truly impressed by what I saw. If you are a regular hiker or nature enthusiast then you already know what I am about to say.

We went on a hike to the East Sooke Provincial Park - and oh my god! It was gorgeous. The hike was right by the coast .We were hiking in old growth forest and every so every often you would see what BC truly had to offer - vast stretches of the Ocean with a rugged coast. Water crashing on to the rocks....I have never seen anything like it.


We would wind our way into and out of the old growth forest. And of course, it being October - the trees were at their best. Reds, yellows, oranges and greens were decorated all over the forest. The forest floor was covered in a wide array of colours. I have never seen anything so spectacular!

I was truly amazed.

One of the days I took a walk down to the private beach by the resort and all there was - was water and rocks. As far as I could see. I walked on to the rocks and there was real marine life there. Untouched!
Mussels, clams, sea anamones, barnacles...all in shallow pools of water. I even tried to pull one of the mussels out - it didnt come out.

It was a real eye-opener....I really enjoyed myself and for a change I will know what people are talking about when they say - Super-Natural BC (that's what it says on our license plates!).

Steven Soderbergh Your film will be 55% romantic, 21% comedy, 51% complex plot, and a $ 36 million budget.

Filmography: Sex Lies and Videotape, Traffic, Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, Erin Brockovich, and various other homemade independent films. He may just want to follow you around for a few months and construct a film out of that. Your humor is either dry or non-existant, but your life is somewhat exciting romantically because you're "bad." At least you'll be surrounded by the best-looking people who will be cast as your friends, who in real life are probably just as good-looking. Then when he wins the Academy Award for your film, he won't have to make anymore "Ocean's" films.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 27% on action-romance You scored higher than 7% on humor You scored higher than 92% on complexity You scored higher than 73% on budge

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

IS IT REALLY...!?

Punched

I got punched today - by life.

It caught up with me....once again.

I need to keep running....I say thats the best option. :-)

The other day we were watching TV and J walks in with a pomegranate.

He peeled it and offered it to me.




I guess he still loves me after 7 years.....

Psychic

I saw the earthquake in Hawaii. Just like I saw the earthquake/tsunami in Asia. No I was in neither of these places when it happened.

Do you think I am crazy? If you do - that's fine with me.

If you don't - well, here is what is freaking me out.

I saw the earthquake/tsunami in Asia. I was sleeping...I had a dream. A very vivid dream. There was an earthquake and there was water everywhere. I was looking for my sister - she had run outside cause we had an argument. Anyways, I ran after her and all I could see and as far as I could see - there was water. In the dream, I found my sister clinging to the base of the house. All the houses were on slilts and my sister was clinging on to one of them.

Anyways, I woke up and saw the headlines. There was an earthquake and tsunami in Southeast Asia. I was freaked out but thought it was a weird coincidence. I moved on.

Then I had a dream about the London bombings. I had a dream about a bomb going off on a train. As usual I was looking for my sister and I woke up to find that a bomb had gone off in London.

I had a similar dream about the bombs going off in Bombay.

I also had a dream about a bus getting into an accident and the people drowning. The same day, I woke up that a bus indeed had an accident in Tamil Nadu and the passengers drowned.

I am writing this post because of the Hawaii earthquake. I had dream about the earthquake and there were landslides and things falling. I was trying to protect my sister and a turtle (god knows why a turtle, but yes, I tried to save it). I didn't know anything about the earthquake until that evening.

Now this all may be a coincidence. We all know that there are hundreds of earthquakes happening everyday. In this day and age - we cant be all that surprised about bombings either. I must have seen TV with a program about turtles. Whatever, maybe I am crazy but a small part of my thinks I am not.

And I am freaking out. I haven't told anyone close to me cause I don't want them to think I am crazy or an attention seeker but I need to let this one out.

WTF?

I ate raw oysters....they taste yummy!

Try them if you have a chance.

The truth

I have lived in Canada for 6 years. I am now a citizen but obviously came here as an immigrant. I moved here because I married the sweetest guy on this planet. I moved half way around the world to be with him. I left a place I never wanted to leave to be with him. Only b/c I don't think he can live in India. I don't want to delude myself into thinking that.
Even though I love him to bits - he cannot live there. Life there is harder, more difficult, more real and less luxurious.

Let me tell you the truth - Its been hard. Its been very hard moving here and adjusting. Not b/c I come from the third world and feel blessed at being in N.A. Its been hard b/c of things that everyone takes for granted - doesn't come that easily to an immigrant or a foreign born person.
I miss calling my friends up.
I miss going over their house and hanging out.
I miss talking to my sister everyday.
I miss my family.
I miss walking on the streets of Bombay.
I miss being home.
I miss the feeling of being home.

As you can see the list can go on.

I miss things that normal people don't even notice.

Its fucking hard to be away. It doesn't matter how long you've been there or how long ago you left - IT IS DIFFICULT.

I am not here for pity - I am only telling you the truth.

And I myself am to blame. I will always feel that loss. Each day that I am here - I will feel like going home. I will miss the familiar. And everytime I visit home - I will want to be back here. As you can see - I have dug myself a grave! :)

Here is a message to all of you.

If you are looking to moving to another country - think twice. Especially, you Indian kids who want to go to 'foreign' - to experience the US or London - cause it just looks so damn cool in the movies - is that what you want? Or is it what your parents want cause they could never leave? It is really so bad where you are? Think about this. Life anywhere is nothing like the movies. Think!

If you are in one of those countries that has its fair share of its immigrants - think - these people left their homes because of something. More than likely - they miss their home and their families. Be nice to them. Life is not all about resources and what you have and how much amass. Be nice to them - they will really appreciate it. They really will.

As for me - I have resigned myself to living here. I know I cant have everything in life. I know that my kids will never really know what my life was back home. They will maybe visit their grandparents 6-7 times. They will probably think of me as a loser who never really moved on. I will never be able to enjoy endless hours with my sister - she will probably never even come here. Nor will any of my family (it costs too much money). I dug myself a grave and now I have to lie here.

Its not all sad tough - I will live in a beautiful city, with someone I love. I will visit home as and when I can. I know for a fact that at least my sister and brother will never have to feel the way I do - they will always be together, will always have their friends a phone call away. They will have a family to be with. It will be fine.

Every now and then though - I will miss the most wonderful place in the world.

Home

Home is where the heart is - and I left mine back in Bombay.

I want to quit my job and leave for home.

I am tired. Tired of pretending I am one of them, tired of trying to fit in, tired of being like everyone else, I just want to go home.

Take me home.

Heaven and Hell

I have wondered this for a few days....
How do we know there is a heaven or a hell? Or for you Hindus (I hate using that word, will outline the reasons in some other post!) how do you know that someone is rewarded for their good karma and punished for the bad ones?

Really how do you know? There is no way of knowing...just like whether God exists or this universe is a garbled mix of gases and explosions....

Think of it there is no way of knowing!!!!!!

I think this dichotomous concept is a way of moving on with your life....you see some assho!e going through life as if it was a party. He has the money, the women (or men), flashy cars, big houses, good enough family but deep down he is an assho!e. He is the guy who makes millions out of other people's misery. He is the guy responsible for thousands of sweat shop workers or the billions of poor immigrant women being sold as sex slaves.

And then there is you!

The guy or girl who means no harm, wants a decent house (nothing too big), wants a car that gets you to work and you want to eat a decent meal in the evening. Hell, you even think that if you won a million dollars you would donate it to some charity. And you get treated like crap by life.


(Image by Mark Parisi, www.offthemark.com)


You go on living this life saying this assho!e guy will go to hell or will come back as cat (normally I would have said dog but I love dogs!). Really it is only you and people like you who have made up this idea, me included. It is our way of going through life and hoping something out there makes it worthwhile to live a good life.

Here is my question - what if that's all it is? What if there is no reward system designed by god? What if we all go to the same place...good or bad.

Movies

I love watching movies!
I saw the new Martin Scorcese flick - The Departed - watch it - its truly amazing. I thought Jack Nicholson was a bit off the top but Matt Damon, Leo and Alec Bladwin were awesome.
Go watch it!!!!

I also saw 'Where the truth lies' with Colin Firth and Kevin Bacon. It was really good - I wonder why it didnt do so good at the box office!

I love reading blogs...
They are a way of connecting people across time and space. They are say written 3 years ago in a city in U.K or India, written by a person whom you probably will never meet, but will know the slightest little things that bug them. Their stories become part of you - you read a post and take it with you. You think about what it said, why the person mentioned it in the first place. It truly connects people in a way that no other medium does.

Contrary to most other bloggers - I don't want to be a writer. I am not going to lie - I have thought more than once that I should write a book. But that is not why I am writing my blog. I am writing it because it keeps me on track. Let me explain.

I moved to Vancouver from Bombay some 6 years ago. No, I never dreamed about living in a foreign land, far away from the most awesome city in the world. I met someone - I was 19 he was 29 and I knew I had to give it a try. We connected and we still do after about 7 years of being married. And I am glad I gave it a try. So I moved to his country as I spoke English and he spoke no Hindi what so ever. And I moved to Vancouver and found it incredibly hard to move on. Move on from Bombay. I am still stuck. I love Bombay too much. It kills me everyday that I am not there. I miss my family - whom I have not seen for 4 years (there are other reasons - which might be outlined in some other post)

It was hard being in a country so different from mine. Hard to understand the totally different priorities people have here. I have nothing against them or this country. But its very different. Its been too hard sometimes, Yet, I think I have adjusted well. I am done my bachelors in Anthropology and Geography (yes, hence the space and time thingy at the start of the post). I have a job - though not permanent - I still get paid a decent amount and I actually like what I do.

All this has a downer though. I became incredibly negative with every thing in my life. Everything was too far - not enough. I know I wasn't that negative back home. I know it cause I always thought good things even when things around me didn't work. I would be optimistic. I wasn't anymore - 6 years into my life in Vancouver. There was nothing specific that made me that way - its just that my life was taking a toll on me. And then I started blogging. It hasn't been that long, about a month. But I am being positive. And you have to know that it has made a huge difference in my life. I am positive. I am not blindly so but I am positive and that's what I need. I need to look at life without the negative. I feel happy and different. Its good.

Lunch

I have been lazy - and have not packed any lunch for work. Everytime I find myself in this situation - I miss home. Back there - you could walk out and eat any of these things -


Vada Pav - got to be my favourite and dubbed as poor man's burger. Bun with a deep fried potato ball, lavished with different kinds of chutneys. Its like a party in your mouth.



Veg Sandwich - think grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes, cukes, peppers and onions. You will die and go to heaven. (Dont have a picture but use your mind)



Samosa - not your avg white-version of samosa - I am talking spicy, hot and fresh samosa!



Idli - white rice cake eaten with a vegetable stew and chutneys.





Dosa - same deal as the idli but is a savoury crepe.





Pav Bhaiji - more of a dinner thing - but is a vegetable stew served with a bun.



I could go on - but you get the picture....

So now that I am in Vancouver - I have a choice of Mexican, Sushi, Greek, Italian, Indian or soups, sandwiches....all within 10 minutes of walking from work!

The problem is its all sort of expensive. Any food I buy here - will cost me about on average $10. Not too much you say - but it is too much! I dont want to spend that much money to eat a lunch. And it gets expensive if you buy it 2 or 3 days a week. I wish my above pictured (and not pictured, as in the case of grilled veg ) was available here.

Maybe I am just spoiled - or miss home. I think its the latter.

I have decided I need to get a tattoo. I am at a point in my life that needs inspiration and focus. It has to be my Zodiac sign - Sagittarius. It tells my to aim higher and be optimistic.
So this will be my next tattoo.

Maybe on my left arm - cause I am left handed - or on my upper back.
What do you think?

Angry

Ok, for this post all you need to know is that I work for a union. I was hired as a co-op student (if you don't know what means - I cannot help you because I don't want to) and am still working here even though my co-op has ended. That was two months ago.
I am working for a union, without a contract, for the same amount that I was paid as a co-op student. I am getting slammed at work. But I have no contract, no extra pay and come November I could be asked to leave.
Thank you very much, your services were greatly appreciated, smiles smiles, good luck - au revior!

I want to quit! I want to quit! I cant - becuase I dont have another job lined up! but oh dear lord I want to quit!
Please something needs to change or I might snap!

I don't understand the concept of being passive-aggressive. To me its very simple, if something irritates me - I'd like to go out and say it and maybe have an argument, hell, have a fight and cry and...its over.

I do not like seething in anger. Of marinating in hatred and fury. It seems to me that that would wrinkle me as a human. All that hatred and frustration built-up inside of you - will only kill you (most of the times literally). I truly believe it.

Now, you may say, ah this a naive girl! Life doesn't always give you those opportunities to yell and scream and get it out! Trust me I know. Having been married for 7 years and being bought up in an typical Indian household I know that. I saw my mum deal with this pent up frustration all her life. My parents did have the perfect marriage. In fact, I think it was less than mediocre. Lots of problems, resentment and so on. Anyways, I saw my mum being frustrated and angry at my dad and I saw her vocalize it every once in awhile.

Having been married and living in very close proximity with my in-laws - I too know the perils of 'opening your mouth too fast'. I have said things that bother me and this has only led to resentment. I was and still am a big believer in vocalising your problems and issues and talking things out. But no one in J's family believes in that. My MIL, especially, stores things and takes it out in moments of complete passive-aggressiveness. AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! She will say and do things that sometimes completely allude me, and then I think and think and it comes to me! Ah ha, that was a reference to 2 months ago when I said this and this.

For example, a week ago I come home from work and walk into my basement and see this box of crackers, lying around. I think that's weird, I did not leave it here. Whatever, I go back to daydreaming (which is what I do most of the time). Then it hits me! Of course, I should have known. My MIL put that box of crackers there because about 6 months ago I was jokingly complaining of the last bit of crackers that disappeared from the kitchen. I was laughing when I said, oh sure there are never any crackers for me! No harm intended and get this I never once mentioned this directly to her. She was in the room when I said this.

Now, to a normal person, if something likes this happens, you just ask what was all that about or are you serious? No, here she waited for 6 months to buy a box of crackers (the exact kind) and then instead of throwing them in my face (which again a normal person would do) she put them where I could see them. WTF?
See it bugs me and I want to scream.

Now, because if such above mentioned behaviour, I have found I have altered my behaviour as well. No, no I haven't become passive-aggressive. I just let things go. If she makes me angry - I just let it go. As much as I would like to tell it to her 'as it is' - I just breathe and let it go. To me there is no point if we cannot talk like adults and solve problems. What is the point? I will mention something and she will be completely passive and then 6 months later - BAM - she comes back with a vengeance. I don't need that and she does not need that and most of all J does not need that.

Do you think that is the best way to deal with passive-aggressive people? Are you passive-aggressive? Do you know someone who is (of course you do)? How do you deal with it?

I saw this guy on the skytrain the other day - he had a bag full of crossword puzzle books and candies. He ate two boxes of candies in a matter of 1/2 an hour. I wonder what his deal was....he was a grown man, looked decent, not crazy, but he was popping candylike...well candy. I would have a sugar rush if I ate that much candy....