The truth

I have lived in Canada for 6 years. I am now a citizen but obviously came here as an immigrant. I moved here because I married the sweetest guy on this planet. I moved half way around the world to be with him. I left a place I never wanted to leave to be with him. Only b/c I don't think he can live in India. I don't want to delude myself into thinking that.
Even though I love him to bits - he cannot live there. Life there is harder, more difficult, more real and less luxurious.

Let me tell you the truth - Its been hard. Its been very hard moving here and adjusting. Not b/c I come from the third world and feel blessed at being in N.A. Its been hard b/c of things that everyone takes for granted - doesn't come that easily to an immigrant or a foreign born person.
I miss calling my friends up.
I miss going over their house and hanging out.
I miss talking to my sister everyday.
I miss my family.
I miss walking on the streets of Bombay.
I miss being home.
I miss the feeling of being home.

As you can see the list can go on.

I miss things that normal people don't even notice.

Its fucking hard to be away. It doesn't matter how long you've been there or how long ago you left - IT IS DIFFICULT.

I am not here for pity - I am only telling you the truth.

And I myself am to blame. I will always feel that loss. Each day that I am here - I will feel like going home. I will miss the familiar. And everytime I visit home - I will want to be back here. As you can see - I have dug myself a grave! :)

Here is a message to all of you.

If you are looking to moving to another country - think twice. Especially, you Indian kids who want to go to 'foreign' - to experience the US or London - cause it just looks so damn cool in the movies - is that what you want? Or is it what your parents want cause they could never leave? It is really so bad where you are? Think about this. Life anywhere is nothing like the movies. Think!

If you are in one of those countries that has its fair share of its immigrants - think - these people left their homes because of something. More than likely - they miss their home and their families. Be nice to them. Life is not all about resources and what you have and how much amass. Be nice to them - they will really appreciate it. They really will.

As for me - I have resigned myself to living here. I know I cant have everything in life. I know that my kids will never really know what my life was back home. They will maybe visit their grandparents 6-7 times. They will probably think of me as a loser who never really moved on. I will never be able to enjoy endless hours with my sister - she will probably never even come here. Nor will any of my family (it costs too much money). I dug myself a grave and now I have to lie here.

Its not all sad tough - I will live in a beautiful city, with someone I love. I will visit home as and when I can. I know for a fact that at least my sister and brother will never have to feel the way I do - they will always be together, will always have their friends a phone call away. They will have a family to be with. It will be fine.

Every now and then though - I will miss the most wonderful place in the world.