Issues, will need tissues!

Update: apparently we are buying my mil a new futon and mattress as she wants to impress my parents and wants to give them something not crappy.

So, we have to pay for her to look good. I just wish she would give me bill at the end of the month for whatever we owe her, her for food, TV, Internet and even the heat we take in while we visit. Will be hell of a lot easier.

Last weekend, J had a fit telling me how I hate his mom and how when we were staying there it was apparent that I hated her and how he doesnt spend time there b/c I dont like it.

Seems like a lot to take all of a sudden. I dont hate his mom. She gets on my nerves. She does b/c she wants things and never actually comes out and says it. Its like a guessing game with her except that if you dont guess what she wants when she wants, you loose. I loose one too often.

I also have always gotten the impression that she doesnt like me. She just doesnt b/c I am from a big city and her family isnt. I have been blamed for not being indian enough and being too Canadian and fitting in too easily and not going to the temple every weekend. Its not me. I dont go to the temple, yes, I am from a big city and no I dont want to isolate myself and cocoon myself into the Indian community just so she would approve of me. I have tried doing things her way and she finds faults in it. Plus, its so much work and doesnt feel right.

She has always resented me for my association with my aunt. She knows my aunt and hates her. Now that is hate between the two of them. When she found out I was related to this woman, she didnt like it. She has said this to me. She has said that given who I was related to (meaning my aunt) she was skeptical about me and that I should thank her for letting me be with her son. J doesnt know this. I dont want him to have a fight with his mum b/c she is too stupid to come out and say this. I frankly dont know what to do.

I just dont. I have let things be and I am going to let it be b/c either ways, I wont win. I just wont. And its not something I want to tempt b/c I have everything loose this way or that. So I leave it. I never say what his mum tells me and I try my hardest not to show any negativity towards her (which apparently I dont succeed in).

I did tell J that no I dont hate his mom but she does get on my nerves and that, once my sister was in town and my parents were in town, he would feel the same way. They would get on his nerves and drive him crazy, like every relative and every in-law that came before them and will come after them. Its only natural.

Thinking about that makes me think. J has it made. He doesnt have to spend any holidays with my parents, doesnt have to eat dinners that make everyone uncomfortable and this is the first time he will be seeing them after we got married 8 yrs ago. He will never have to spend day in and day out for 4 yrs hoping to move out or even hoping that today will be the day when you dont piss your mil. Just maybe she will like you for something.