Stuff

Ok, so my sis and my mom have their visas in hand and my dad is waiting for his. My bro doesnt want to come so he will be in India partaying it up!

Now, comes the really difficult, tricky hard part. My sis can stay with me. So thats no biggie. I dont want her with my mil as I know she will expect my sister to clean and cook and do stuff for her.

The sad, tricky thing is going to be my mum and my dad staying with the in-laws. I know for a fact that mil will pass nasty comments (but be completely passive-aggressive at the same time) on my parents and anything they do.

I wish I didnt have to keep them there. I have little choice. J's uncle's house is completely empty and actually quite close to my in-laws house. I feel like asking him if we can stay there for a month or so. I dont think he would care as much as my mil would take offense. If you recall (I have posted about this before) my mil called up my parents and went on bragging about how big a house she has and how empty it is. This is to my parents who live in an apartment in Bombay. I know if I do end up getting my parents to stay elsewhere it will be a slap in the face for mil - which I dont care about. But at the same time that is not my intention at all. I just dont want to give my mil an opportunity to say anything.

I have decided that when I can, I am going to buy them groceries. At least she cant complain about having to feed them.

All this because I dont know how my mil feels about my parents staying with her. It would be easy if she just said how she felt and if i could believe her. But she wont say anything and anything that does come out of her mouth is completely passive aggressive so I dont even know what she means half of the time.

Anyways, I will just hope for the best. I dont hate my mil - I just cant read her and I dont think she likes me all that much. Which is fine cause, that is her problem not mine. I think she feels cheated somehow. When J and myself got married she was happyish - as she never thought her son would marry someone from India. But, I am not like a typical Indian bride. I dont like going to temple, I dont think I am my husbands slave and more than anything else, I am from a big city. Which means I am not traditional enough. This is what gets to her. I think she wishes that I would be traditional - go to the temple, not call my husband by his first name, not argue with him when he is being unreasonable, be ever so polite and bend over backwards for my inlaws. I am not that person and I think it irriates her that despite me being Indian I am not her version of "Indian". No one in India does any of the things she expects from me. She is caught up in the old and India has moved on....

Anyways. So will hope for the best and go from there.

Mil had a bit of a hissy fit the other day when my sis-in-law told her that she wont be in the delivary room when I am having 30 ppl staring up my ho-ha. She fully expected to be in there. I dont want her or even my mum to be in the room. I need calm ppl to be around me so that I dont freak out. Mil is not calm and neither is my mum. So no. Anyways, R was telling her this and she was like "What do you mean I wont be in there?" I have to sit her down and tell her we are not having too many ppl in but if things go well and I feel good, I will call her in. That should take care of it. That way she doesnt feel left out and I dont have to have her in the room.

I have convince J too. He was like oh yea, have my sis, his sis, my mom in there. I was like no. I want him in there and the midwife and no one else. I know the midwife will be calm. I know that J will be okay as long as things are kind of ok. I do not need ppl freaking out on me and I dont want my sis as I dont think is there yet (birthing, pain all things associated with it).