More mil!

So, my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary is coming up in May.

At first we had thought we would take them to Hawaii or Las Vegas to celebrate. We realized that my mil doesnt like the beach. So Hawaii was out and LV was kind of an option but with me preggers I didnt want to hang out in a smoke filled casino! So that was out.

Fine. No biggie we can do something else.

But now we know we cannot afford anything due to my work problems. No trips especially.

My sister in law (who has apparently a bunch of money) wanted to updo my in-laws house as a gift for my in-laws anniversary. She is single, she rents and now has a bf. I guess her intentions are sincere. She sent an email to all of us, me and J, my in-laws about estimate of painting the house and how much that would cost. Not actually asking us if we wanted to be a part of this. She just assumed. So now, she wants to put $2000 of her own $$$$ for painting my in-laws upper floor. My in-laws are assuming that we (me and J) will pay to updo the basement. I would love to. Really, if money wasnt the issue I would love to. But sadly, money is a big issue and besides we have a baby coming...we cannot afford to sink money into the house. I think it would be different if we were living there and doing an upgrade but we dont. Not yet anyways. Also, I do think that even if we have to move back with the in-laws we cant afford to put a $1000 into the house with me basically being unemployed for a year.

I just hate being put in this position. I dont have the moola and cant do it. My sister in law has done this kind of thing before. She can be very passive agressive and at times has simply assumed that we are going to be buying christmas gifts for the in-laws all together. Never actually saying this - just assuming it and then pretending to be all hurt we didnt involve her. This whole mess puts J in a difficult position as he has to say to his parents we dont have the money. I think it is very insensitive of my sis-in-law.

I have always thought that as some level she just doesnt get it. Whatever 'it' might be. In anycase, we will convey this to his parents, break their hearts again. I think it might have something to do with sibling rivalry. I really do. In a wierd twisted way, my sis-in-law acts if she is still a baby sometimes. I guess you are always your parent's kid but even I dont act like she does when I see my mom in 2-3 years...

That and she always plays the guilt card. She is 34 and now not yet married. Up until she found her new bf, her parents were always feeling guilty for her being single. They would and still do, to some extent, feel responsible for her marital status. I think she is well aware of that and takes advantage of it every oppurtunity she gets. Its kind of sad.

Anyhoo, I dont mean to come off bitter and evil. I do like her - its just that there are some people in the world who just dont get it....