The need to prove.....

That you are not a failure. Does that come out of you or is it forced on you by someone else?

Meaning - does this need come because you think you are a failure or does it come because you think that the world thinks you are a failure?

I get tired just trying to get through the day. Thank god we get to sleep or else I would be dead by now.

I am tired of proving and trying to prove. At times I just dont care.

Example: I have an ok job. Ok because I should have been hired and given my benefits sometime ago. Atleast that is what I think sometimes. At other times I dont think about it too much. Then I think - oh which graduate from university even has a decent job? But I am being pushed. And I dont want to. I want to relax and enjoy sometime. I dont want to think about buying houses and reproducing just yet. But being pushed does that to you.

I want to scream STOP. But I cant. I am tired. It is all my fault. I put myself in this situation now I want it to stop and I cant.

More than anything else I want to use NO. I cant.