Freaking goddamn hell.

I have really miffed right now. here is why....
every damn person we know in this city is reproducing....i freaking hate that.
Not b/c I have something against ppl reproducing but b/c everytime i find out someone is pregnant i have this wierd feeling.
This feeling comes from the fact that J mentions in every conversation we have about me being pregnant! I pisses me off!
I know he is older than me and he is at a place where he needs an offspring - but when I take everything into the equation - he is the guy. He can father babies anytime he wants! Its not like he is going to hit menopause and then thats that.

All his friends are married, settled and so on - meanwhile we are still trying to freaking move out of the house!
Damn it!

Nobody told him to party his 20s away. He could have been working and we could actually have a house now. No, we dont have that and I have bust my ass in a place that dont like.....

And every conversation we have - he's mentions the word pregnant and baby - fuck!

Its not like I dont want to have kids or anything - I dont mind - I would want to wait for a couple of years but its ok - but this pressure is killing me!

Meanwhile his sister is 31 met a guy who is 40 and they are all cool about it.
Irritates me.

And I cant say anything this way or that - cause then he pulls the I am old what do you know how it feels card
I am getting tired. I want to get pregnant just so he stops talking about it

And my job - they wont give me a positon and I am tired of hanging around waiting.

This sucks

Sorry for the rant - I just need to blah.....