Friend

So I have known D since we were in grade 7 I think. I have kept in touch with her through all those years. She moved away from Bombay and we were still in touch and then I moved to Canada and we were still in touch and she moved to UK and we were still in touch. Until I think the start of this year. I have always answered every email she has sent me.

She was having some difficulties with her bf a few years ago and I would listen to her ranting. I have on numerous occasions chatted to her, while I was at work as she was having some crisis.

Then, when we were planning our trip to Italy, emailed her saying we might stop by on our way to Italy. I knew, she was busy with her in-laws so I was expecting a no, that time does not work for me. Instead, I got nothing. Nada. Atleast, have the courtesy to say "dont come". It would have been fine. I was already expecting it. I would understand it totally. But when you dont reply I get the feeling you are avoiding me.

On top of that, I got into trouble w/ J as he was expecting to stop by in UK. When I didnt hear anything from D, I assumed, I was not wanted, and didnt contact D further. I didnt tell this to J as what was I supposed to say "the person I have known for years, who I always make time for is avoiding me?"

Then, I did stop emailing her. Just the occasional 'hi' on orkut. She emailed me sometime back saying the same drawn out excuse I have heard a billion times. I was busy, got busy, in-laws just left, I am working blah blah blah. I did tell her I was pregnant and she mailed me a congratulations card. Which is fine and dandy but I think a little too less too late.

The reason why I am so mad is not because she got busy and didnt email me but because this is a pattern with her. She forgets I exist until she needs to talk or needs advice or is bored. I feel I do most of the work in this relationship and frankly, I am tired.

Then again, I dont have very many friends, so maybe I am the one messed up.

My social life

I dont have one.

I am in a weird situation. I am about 9 years younger to J. So expectedly J has very different group of friends than I do.

His friends are all married with kids. To the point that we are are the black sheep of friends (didnt know I could ever use the words black, sheep and friends, in the same sentence but I did anyways). So all the ppl we used to hang out with - are no more. We cant go out with friends in the evening cause their kids wont let them. Consequently, we have started going out together - and watching movies and having dinner. Now, if you have been the same person for awhile, you will know this can get boring at times. I love J and all but really - having friends around help us distract us from each other.

My friends are all just out of uni and finding jobs. Marriage is the last thing on thier minds. Getting by and paying off those student loans occupies their free time. Then there is hooking up with guys and travelling. Needless to say - there is not much in common with the two groups.

We are stuck in between. This directly means that my social life is non-existent.

It sucks.

Advise

I find that we as humans - love to give advise. Free advise to one and all.

It is irritating as hell when you are at the receiving end. Especially if you didnt ask for it and if it centers around babies.

Infants, raising kids, conceiving kids, lifestyles with kids. One and all.

Since we are the only couple left with no kids - I cant describe what that does to your social life - we get advise. Free.

Unasked advise.

It is annoying. I feel like screaming.

Diary of a crazy girl

I was chatting online with one of my old school mates. I have known this girl (lets call her Diane) since we were in grade/standard 8th. So quite awhile now. We have been in touch on and off.

I think she is crazy. No, like seriously something is wrong with her.

It was through Diane that I met my friend Violet, who is a really good friend and I keep in touch with her. Anyways, so a few months ago I was talking to Violet and she told me that she had been in touch with Diane.

Diane apparently complained to Violet that her parents were beating her up. Locking her in the house, not letting her see her friends, meet any guys and she could not talk on the phone without being monitored by her parents.

Yes, it sounds serious. I have also met her parents who are the sweetest people I have met. They are tiny compared to my friend and really love her. I could be wrong. People could pretend to be something they are not - so I guess my friend could be telling the truth. I give her the benefit of doubt.

After Violet knew of this - she asked Diane to call a few people - who were professionals in dealing with these sorts of things. Violet has worked as a social worker before she moved to UK. Violet expressed that Diane had to be the one to make the call - if we wanted help all she had to do was call and these people would help her out.

After this, if I am not mistaken - Violet talked to one of these professionals and told him all about Diane, gave him her phone number. Violet, then, moved to UK. This was all happening in Bombay and Diane is still there. I havent heard anything from Violet regarding this and nor from Diane.

Fast forward to now.

I have chatted a few times with Diane. We were good friends and it seems that technology has helped us to re-start that same old friendship. The few times I have chatted with Diane - she has mentioned numerous men, all attached, who keep hitting on her.

Guys we both knew growing up. Guys who at one point in time must have had a crush on her or asked her out. But they are all either married or have girlfriends. But they, supposedly, keep hitting on Diane. Wanting to get together with her, leave their partners for her and so on. This is all from Diane's prespective. As much as I want to believe all of this - I feel that there is something fishy going on. She always talks about guys we both knew. Guys who she was never interested in - at all. She wouldnt give them the time of the day back then and these guys supposedly still have something for her and would leave everything if only she gave them a chance. Hmmm, sounds a bit far fetched to me.

She has mentioned to me at least twice how these guys wives or girlfriends are extremely jealous of her. How she went to x guy's wedding and the bride was sulking and unhappy because Diane decided to attend the wedding. And everytime she says something like this - She sounds extremely happy. Like she actually enjoys this.

What makes it even more unbelievable is that she was supposedly to marry this distant cousin of hers, yes a cousin - very distantly attached, who was married to someone else. He was going to live his then wife and marry Diane. This however did not go over well with her parents who objected to the marriage.

Now, this just sounds crazy to me. I know Diane - very well.

I dont know if I should help, or even how to help given I am so far away.

Friends - update

The friends who were supposed to stay with our in-laws are now staying at a B&B. Not b/c of anything but b/c our friends mother paid for a B&B for his son and family.

What I dont get is as a lawyer with a child - couldnt you have the courtesy to do it by yourself?

In anycase, I dont care. All I know is that I dont have to move in to my inlaws place for a week and that is a-okay with me!