So I am going home on the 16th. India after 3 years.

The absence was partly deliberate - I just cant handle being with my dad. I love him but I am tired of being a disappointment to him. I just cannot handle it anymore. And yet I will see him and it will all start again.

Oh well.

I didnt tell anyone from my extended family - b/c frankly they dont need to know. They might think that they do - but they dont. However, everyone who is anyone knows that I am going there. Which means - expectations.

They are going to expect me to visit them. All of them. And let me tell you there are a lot of them. Most of them are going to expect gifts. I dont have that kind of money nor the time. I am going for 3 weeks. I do not intend to visit anyone - let alone buy them gifts.

And yet there they are.

The thing is - I am not afraid of telling them "I am not visiting you" and disappoint them. I have lived being disappointment all my life - hell, I can take that.

I just wanted it to be easy. For once.

Fuck easy - I say. Fuck easy.