Stuff

Ok, so my sis and my mom have their visas in hand and my dad is waiting for his. My bro doesnt want to come so he will be in India partaying it up!

Now, comes the really difficult, tricky hard part. My sis can stay with me. So thats no biggie. I dont want her with my mil as I know she will expect my sister to clean and cook and do stuff for her.

The sad, tricky thing is going to be my mum and my dad staying with the in-laws. I know for a fact that mil will pass nasty comments (but be completely passive-aggressive at the same time) on my parents and anything they do.

I wish I didnt have to keep them there. I have little choice. J's uncle's house is completely empty and actually quite close to my in-laws house. I feel like asking him if we can stay there for a month or so. I dont think he would care as much as my mil would take offense. If you recall (I have posted about this before) my mil called up my parents and went on bragging about how big a house she has and how empty it is. This is to my parents who live in an apartment in Bombay. I know if I do end up getting my parents to stay elsewhere it will be a slap in the face for mil - which I dont care about. But at the same time that is not my intention at all. I just dont want to give my mil an opportunity to say anything.

I have decided that when I can, I am going to buy them groceries. At least she cant complain about having to feed them.

All this because I dont know how my mil feels about my parents staying with her. It would be easy if she just said how she felt and if i could believe her. But she wont say anything and anything that does come out of her mouth is completely passive aggressive so I dont even know what she means half of the time.

Anyways, I will just hope for the best. I dont hate my mil - I just cant read her and I dont think she likes me all that much. Which is fine cause, that is her problem not mine. I think she feels cheated somehow. When J and myself got married she was happyish - as she never thought her son would marry someone from India. But, I am not like a typical Indian bride. I dont like going to temple, I dont think I am my husbands slave and more than anything else, I am from a big city. Which means I am not traditional enough. This is what gets to her. I think she wishes that I would be traditional - go to the temple, not call my husband by his first name, not argue with him when he is being unreasonable, be ever so polite and bend over backwards for my inlaws. I am not that person and I think it irriates her that despite me being Indian I am not her version of "Indian". No one in India does any of the things she expects from me. She is caught up in the old and India has moved on....

Anyways. So will hope for the best and go from there.

Mil had a bit of a hissy fit the other day when my sis-in-law told her that she wont be in the delivary room when I am having 30 ppl staring up my ho-ha. She fully expected to be in there. I dont want her or even my mum to be in the room. I need calm ppl to be around me so that I dont freak out. Mil is not calm and neither is my mum. So no. Anyways, R was telling her this and she was like "What do you mean I wont be in there?" I have to sit her down and tell her we are not having too many ppl in but if things go well and I feel good, I will call her in. That should take care of it. That way she doesnt feel left out and I dont have to have her in the room.

I have convince J too. He was like oh yea, have my sis, his sis, my mom in there. I was like no. I want him in there and the midwife and no one else. I know the midwife will be calm. I know that J will be okay as long as things are kind of ok. I do not need ppl freaking out on me and I dont want my sis as I dont think is there yet (birthing, pain all things associated with it).

Vegetarian

The thing about being a vegetarian and being pregnant is that you get asked to eat meat for the pregnancy.

To start from the start.

I've always been a vegetarian, ever since I was a child. So its not a fashion statement for me. Its not something I just picked up. Everyone I know, knows that I have never had any meat or eggs. NEVER.

So now that I am pregnant it is hard for me to get full nutrition for my jublet and still eat without wanting to throw up. My nausea at seeing spinach doesnt help either!

So, I am trying to drink lots of soy milk, eat lots of vegetables and beans to counter the lack of meat. Also, I am not completely convinced that meat helps all that much - you can easily substitute beans or tofu for protein!

I just hate when someone tells me casually, oh eat some meat and it will be alright. No it wont. First of all, I cant eat meat cause I've never eaten it. Ever. So its not like I will simply be taking up something I stopped. I never started!

Then, telling me to eat meat, casually, makes it seem like I am a bad person for not thinking this, I am bad mother for not thinking about jublet's needs. That is not how this is going to go down! I am very well aware of what I need to eat and am trying my best, but the nausea is not helping.

And also, BTW - my mom is not here. So its not like I get things handed to me. I have make things I want to eat and sometimes, the thought of cooking something makes me sick, even though I want to eat it and know that I should be eating it. (J, tries to help but the man has to work!) So, you telling me eat meat doesn't help!

So, the gist of this rant is I am trying my freaking best without any help and I am already stressed and tired and nauseous all the time and you calling me and telling me eat meat - pushes me over the edge, especially when I am already kind of on that line anyways. Thank you very much!

(BTW - the casual suggestion was put forward, in all her well meant kindness by none other than my mil. And I would have told her all this except I cant fight over the phone and was just too tired so I said yes, she was right and hung up)

Friends - update

The friends who were supposed to stay with our in-laws are now staying at a B&B. Not b/c of anything but b/c our friends mother paid for a B&B for his son and family.

What I dont get is as a lawyer with a child - couldnt you have the courtesy to do it by yourself?

In anycase, I dont care. All I know is that I dont have to move in to my inlaws place for a week and that is a-okay with me!

I love listening to Virgin radio on my comp while working. I donno why - it makes the day go fast I think.

Anyhoo, I am dreading - really dreading - having to move in with my in-laws for a week. J's friends from New York are coming - the one with a child and need a place to crash. I am all in for that and do like them and they let us crash at their place when we were in NYC - but here is the catch. The dude is lawyer in NY - he get paid $400/hr in US $$$ - wouldn't it just be easy for them to stay in a hotel? Surely, they can afford it!

I do understand paying back for the time we spend at their place but it was the two of us in a sofa bed. No child. So its not like we asked them to shift their lives around!

Anyhoo, whateves, will stay at the in-laws for a week. Maybe the sheer tension will make me loose some weight - I doubt it though!

My mil was shocked the last time we were there. J called me a bitch in front of his mom - not a kosher thing to do ever. So I got back to him saying something nasty like - you want bitch - I'll give you one. His mom's jaw dropped to the ground. She hates even more now. I am sure she will try to convey her hatred for me to J when I am away. Something completely passive-aggressive like - "I cant believe Viki talks to you like that" Or "Viki is such a princess, blah blah blah". She has actually done that in the past and called me a princess too. It was different - we were living in her house as she was kind of to point out at every opportunity she got. No more. No more.

If she does something like that - I am going to have to say something.

So no wonder I feel fat.
I am!

No seriously, I put on 10 pounds in 3 months. Partially it is because of my ankle. I havent been able to do any exercise without it getting weak and swollen.
But it is also becuase I have been partying...since we moved out of the in-laws house. It was like freedom and I havent stopped.

Well it does now. I am going cold turkey in terms of food. No junk, no drinks, salads for lunch and healthy food for dinner. Thats that.

The only sucky thing is I am being taken camping. And now more than ever I dont want to go. Its hard to be picky about food when you are out living in the forest. Fuck!

Dont want to do it. And then after that we have friends visiting from NYC. I love them but they could not have chosen a worse time. Plus, like everyone we know they have a child and you know what that means.....

Moving to the in-laws place for a week so that the child has a place to sleep. Argh, I dont want to live there. Not after being blamed for the break in. And I dont want to argue with J. I realize that this what would work for AK (friends) - I just dont want to eat unhealthy or worse explain why I wont eat regular food. Its bad enough having to be on a diet!

Okay ranting and raving done.

I finished HP7 - It was awesome! It really was. Dont worry I wont give away the good bits. But I feel so sad now that I know there wont be another HP book! But it was an awesome end to an awesome series....

Painting - done.

So this weekend went in painting the basement. It was a lot of work. I dont like painting that much.

We were going to paint the basement a dull yellowish beige colour. Anyway I go to sears to find the right shade and turns out sears doesnt do paint anymore.

Then I go to Rona - and find this Anthony Bourdain look-alike who is very abrupt in selling paint to me.
I panic and time is precious and I have to make the decision to get the right paint. I choose a yellow.

I take it home and we paint the bedroom - it looks like a canary yellow. It was supposed to be a pale yellow. So everyone panics and gives me the look. (Never choose paint colour for your in-laws house - nothing good can come of it.)

I am like - it is supposed to be pale not canary yellow. No one believes me.

We ended up finishing the painting using the same yellow - hoping that it dulls with time. Besides, the basement is dull and gets really depressing in winter so - it actually looks very warm. Who cares what my in-laws think of me. If they dont get me now - 7 yrs into the marriage they will never get me. So I am done the painting.

Ceiling needs to be painted - but I will not partake in that.