Back Home

We all know things change. Mostly for the good - here. But some of it isfor the bad.

People who you thought were cool are not - whats more they never were....

Politics. A lot of it.

The funny thing is a lot of my cousins are now out of the country - India. I.e. They have made it big. Their parents think so - they have changed. And not for the better.

And it is all so materialistic. Its all about stuff and all about money.

As a kid you would never know money did that to people.

Oh well.

Its not all been bad. I have eating my heart out. Things that you dont get in Vancouver. Stuff that only your mum can make.

So that is good. I love the fact that I hae true friends in this part of the world. I saw them in 3 years and they havent changed a bit.

I admire my lil sis day by day. I am so proud of her. She is doing so good inspite of all the negativity around her.

My parents well - they are my parents. What else can I say?

Anyways

Its been a trip. A trip to the motherland. I leave on the 4th!

Am going to Bombay - for a few weeks - see you when I get back!

Argh!

Too many things to do. I almost feel I shd postpone my trip. I just have too many things to take care of.

But of course I cant. Am now thinking that I need to be in a less stressful job. I hate responsibilities being a typical Saggi!

Maybe I shd take up something like being a cashier in a retail job!

Wait....I already had that and I hated it.

Something with a balance. Something suitable for an Anth/Geog major.....

What can I do....?

I have a superpower

Okay I have X-ray vision. I know its not that cool as moving into the future and stuff but its cool enough!
Here is blurb from the test ppl about my abilities...

What's Your Superpower?



Holy smokes, you've got X-RAYVISION! Your answers show a keen sense of insight, coupled with a piercing mind. Okay, so you may not be able to see through brick walls — not yet, anyway. But you probably enjoy looking beneath the surface of things and reading between the lines. Your X-ray vision lets you see things others can't, making you good at reading people's motivations, solving mysteries of all kinds, or maybe just finding misplaced car keys. You've got the gift, so if you haven't started using it, it's high time you did. Just think of the benefits: You could really start undressing people with your eyes. Winning lottery tickets and grand prize soda-bottle caps will be effortlessly revealed to you. So start practicing! All superheroes know that developing your powers begins with mental training. To start honing your X-ray vision, try looking for the hidden meaning in things. Read old English poetry. Do crossword puzzles. Think metaphorically. Once you've trained your mind, you'll be ready to instruct the eyes. Start with gauzey fabrics, then move on to semi-transparent glass. Keep at it, and you'll be seeing through concrete slabs in no time. Good luck!

For Fun

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

Movies

I just saw

21 Grams - it was fantastic! It really was. It is one of those movies which make you think and engage you.

and

Pretty Persuasion - was ok. The movie Thirteen was better. Even Racheal Wood is just a fantastic actress.

Freak!

I was the freak in school. Atleast in the younger years. It freaking hurts even now.

No I dont want sympathy. I hate sympathy. Just like I hate pity.

I
think I am happy that now I am at a point where I can take care of
myself. I can stand up for myself - I can walk away if I want. Its
taken a long time and a lot of work. I am proud of it. There I said it.


Take that world!

On a completely different note - I love the Snow Petrol - Chasing Cars....Helps that they have some sort of an English accent ;)

Paul Newman

I love Paul Newman - I just saw Long Hot Summer and it was awesome.

I have seen several of his movies and love him!

I hate talking to people on the phone.

So I am going home on the 16th. India after 3 years.

The absence was partly deliberate - I just cant handle being with my dad. I love him but I am tired of being a disappointment to him. I just cannot handle it anymore. And yet I will see him and it will all start again.

Oh well.

I didnt tell anyone from my extended family - b/c frankly they dont need to know. They might think that they do - but they dont. However, everyone who is anyone knows that I am going there. Which means - expectations.

They are going to expect me to visit them. All of them. And let me tell you there are a lot of them. Most of them are going to expect gifts. I dont have that kind of money nor the time. I am going for 3 weeks. I do not intend to visit anyone - let alone buy them gifts.

And yet there they are.

The thing is - I am not afraid of telling them "I am not visiting you" and disappoint them. I have lived being disappointment all my life - hell, I can take that.

I just wanted it to be easy. For once.

Fuck easy - I say. Fuck easy.

Embarrassed!

(Caution-this story might not make much sense!)

Okay so yesterday, while cleaning up I put a few things away...one of them was a book. I took the book and put in our 'adult box' due to the contents of the book.

A few minutes later all I could hear is whurring. It was all over the bedroom. I did not put two and two together. J called the neighbour to ask if it was the same at her place - she said no. I then called the landlord thinking that there was something on the roof.
He came by said no. I was wondering what was it.....

He came by again and found the box buzzing. Same box with the book in it. Turns out, when I put the book in - the vibrator started buzzing and I didnt realize it at all. I realized what it was - asked him not to open the box and that I now knew what it was.

Okay I felt like a fool. I have had a few of those moments where you just feel plain stupid. That was one of them. My landlord thought it was funny.

J comes home from wherever and I tell him what happened. Now, important note - I was left red-faced in front of my landlord who is a guy and I dont know him all that well. J wasnt there. Anyhoo, I tell him and he is like - we have to move. He is like 'oh my god, I am embarrassed. Landlord will think I am impotent (which is of course not the case) and I can face him. We have to move' I talked him out of it for the time being. But as a guy what would you think?

Also, now I have to exclusively deal with the landlord. J made me promise - that since it was my fault - which it was - I will have to directly deal with him. J will never talk to him. Which is fine by me. I am shameless that way....or when you have been humiliated so many times in front of anyone and everyone you know - you just dont care about these little things.....

I just dont think its fair. If anyone shd feel red-faced and embarrassed it shd be me. Do you agree?

Keep in mind that this one side of the story. I am sure J has a good reason - but still.....

I am such a dork!

Life deals you lemons - you make lemonade

Not that easy.....but whatever

I am tired - of a lot of things but mostly of opening boxes and cleaning the apmt

it never gets done!


Blah - cant wait

On a side note - I am being made to go to New West - which sucks - cause I hate the burbs and especially New West - no particular reason.

Dilemma

I for one am stuck.

I just graduated and have found a job ppl would kill for.....

But am unhappy for various reasons - but mostly b/c I do not like the management style.

There are other things that I will post someother time but right now - I feel stuck

Pffffft - If only I were born rich! Would not have to work - could run around contributing nothing to the world!

Dilemma

I for one am stuck.

I just graduated and have found a job ppl would kill for.....

But am unhappy for various reasons - but mostly b/c I do not like the management style.

There are other things that I will post someother time but right now - I feel stuck

Pffffft - If only I were born rich! Would not have to work - could run around contributing nothing to the world!

I walked in pouring rain today for a hot dog. I was soaked through and through but damn it fun!

I also had an ice cream sandwich...yum....


It rains too much in this city! Take that you Valentine day celebrators!!!!!

Valentine day sucks!

Today

I was leaving for work and decided I'd better throw the garbage out.

I did.

On my way to the bus stop - I found a $10 note.

I am glad for that. I never find anything or win anything. It made my day!

Get it off my chest

I just need to get it off my chest. Yesterday was a bad day.
I came to work. After work as previously decided I took the car back to the in-laws house to pick up a few things. On my way there I noticed that the car was acting funny.
I made it to the house, picked up whatever I could think of was most necessary and left. Picked J up on the way. We got to the apmt and went out to eat.

During our meal I realized I had forgotten the shower curtain. No worries, I said, we take a bucket bath like in India. After dinner at around 9.30ish J mentions he will drive to the house and pick up the shower curtain. I just say, at this time of the night? Big mistake. He lost it. Anyways, then he was complaining how things needed to be order (this is why think he has either OCD or OCPD) anyways, I got somethings in order and then he asks, 'Soooo, what are you doing now?' Clearly, he wanted me to get the shower curtain. I said I will go get it.

I got to the house picked up a few things again and left. Not 5 minutes into the ride - I notice that the engine is dangerously hot. I pull over at the gas station. Call my in-laws asking them what to do. They tell me to wait there and they will come by. While waiting I get approached by two homeless guys on either side of me asking my what happened to my car. They walked away.

Anyways, the in-laws came and helped me out. J didnt know anything about this. Long story short the car wasnt going to work. So I called J told him what happened leaving out the homeless guys....and he tells me angrily, 'Stay at the house, I dont care, I will walk to work'. So I say no the your parents are dropping me off. Which they do. J's dad asks me Why didnt J come with you?

Anyways I get home. He is fast asleep. I clear out few things. Get to bed. Wake up and while I am preparing to leave - J gets out of the shower and asks me why didnt you leave. And I am like 'Well in case you need something'. He is like 'I can find things on my own'. I leave then.

He calls me on my cell 10 minutes later....asking my if I brought his belt. I saw no. He starts complaining.

I am trying not to cry. I am not asking for a lot here. I know that the house is a mess but for chrissake, we just moved. I packed most of the boxes cause J was busy. I am going unpack most of the boxes cause he is an asshole.

Dont get me wrong - I know I married an asshole. I know it. I just didnt think he wouldnt even think twice about letting me go at 10 at night to pick up a shower curtain.

Moved...?

So most of our stuff is at the new apmt - we are still with the in-laws for several reasons which are really not that important.

Anyways, we have been doing the back and forth to the apmt - yesterday was one such day. Whilst coming back my mil was in the car with me. She says to me - please feed my son some meat every now and then. I dont even know what to say....I didnt say anything instead turned on the radio and ignored her. There really was no point....

BTW - as it seems - I think his family is blaming me for the move. Of course, it wasnt so clear. But his mum and grandma made some comment about a 'daughter-in-law from Bombay' blah blah blah.....

Again, I dont care as much. I kinda saw it coming.....

oh well, such is life!

Argh!

So we are moving tomorrow - and one of our closest friends just cancelled on us like 10 minutes ago.

I feel freaking screaming at him. I dont care that he cant come just dont cancel on me at the last minute!
His reason - he is entertaining a guest! Didnt this guest call you say at the latest Thursday nite to ask if can come to your place on Friday and stay the nite and hang out on Saturday?
Didnt you know we were moving on that said Saturday for say atleast a month?

Couldnt you have said to the guest - sure you can stay at my place on Friday but I have a previous commitment on Saturday? Or couldnt you have made the phone call to us on Thursday nite saying this is happening so we are not scrambling at the last minute?

Argh! Sucks!

Staff Meetings

Yes, we all know them and we all have them.

I for one hate them. Because of all the obvious things too but mostly b/c I work with suburban white women. Which means every staff meeting the lunch is either sandwichs - which I dont mind or something more exotic - i.e. sushi.

Freaking goddamn - I hate sushi right now. It costs a buck - what the hell is so exotic and different? You live in Vancouver! You can eat sushi anytime of the day.....Argh!