6 months

I have been a mom for 6 months and I cant believe how time flies.

Really its been crazy.

And you learn so much. Just about being a mother but about yourself and about life.

And babies - they teach you so much.

Everything K does is fascinating to me. Its a wonder when he picks things up or looks at his toys and knows how to put them...

I never knew I could be this person. Perfectly happy to be with the baby. I love just love being a mom. More than anything else in my life.

I also have a new found respect for my mom. God I was so mean to her. I cant imagine how she took care of 3 kids.

Am I just being a new mom and does this glow, this joy fade in a few years...? Or does everything your kid does amaze you?

Random

I only have two weeks to go and there is so much to do.

I feel I need more time to go away on vacation.

Anyways, I had a dream where I had a child with me and then I gave it to someone to keep an eye on him/her. Then, the child was lost. No one could find him/her and I was terrified.

Okay, its good to know I am back to normal - getting stupid dreams.

Work is going on as usual. The new board is getting elected today - so that will be interesting. Not that I care anymore.

I watching the emmys last nite - I freaking hate Sally Field. She is soooooo dramatic. Okay, the reason I am talking about the Emmys is I was watching it w/ J - and I was sitting on the loveseat and he was on the couch - I look over and he was switching his contacts from old phone to new phone. And I couldnt help but feel overwhelming love for him. He is so cute and cuddly and lovable.

We met about 10 yrs ago and from the first instant we talked to each other - we clicked. It was right. We both knew that. When I decided to marry him - and I proposed BTW, I knew it was right. I knew that if I didnt do that - marry this guy (rather I had to marry him to be with him cause we were both in different countries and I could just visit him to Canada - cause I wouldnt get a freaking visa) I would regret it forever.

I have not regretted marrying him, my only regret is not living in India. I think I will always miss that. There will always be that empty spot in my heart.

I think J knows that. He knows that more than anything I want to move back home. It will always be home for me. It is where my heart is. But I cant just do that. Financially it would be a disaster. So here I am. Which is fine. I think I will move back one day. I think. As long as my sister and my bro are there - I think I will. I want to.

My social life

I dont have one.

I am in a weird situation. I am about 9 years younger to J. So expectedly J has very different group of friends than I do.

His friends are all married with kids. To the point that we are are the black sheep of friends (didnt know I could ever use the words black, sheep and friends, in the same sentence but I did anyways). So all the ppl we used to hang out with - are no more. We cant go out with friends in the evening cause their kids wont let them. Consequently, we have started going out together - and watching movies and having dinner. Now, if you have been the same person for awhile, you will know this can get boring at times. I love J and all but really - having friends around help us distract us from each other.

My friends are all just out of uni and finding jobs. Marriage is the last thing on thier minds. Getting by and paying off those student loans occupies their free time. Then there is hooking up with guys and travelling. Needless to say - there is not much in common with the two groups.

We are stuck in between. This directly means that my social life is non-existent.

It sucks.

Elevators

I work in an office bldg - a big one. There are about 23 floors and 6 elevators.
Each of the elevators has one of those high tech - TV things hung on the wall. This TV gives you updates on news, weather and other bits.
I have noticed this before and have always thought of it to be odd. Its very odd - I think!

Its almost like saying "its okay if you dont want to make small talk - you stare at the TV". I find Vancouver to be the friendliest city - and yet...this.

There are times when I get on to the elevator with someone from my own floor and yet - I dont know their name or who or what they do....yet we may see each other every single day. Its odd.

And then I think - what if there was some huge calamity - or accident and that same guy was going to save my life and yet I have never talked to him. ODD.

Is it just me or are people getting further and further away from social contact?

I have been living in my new bldg for about 3 months now - yet, I dont know my neighbours. I dont talk to them and they dont talk to us. They are very polite but there is no talking. Again odd.

Its almost like everyone is so busy with their lives that they forget to live.